Boundaries Are Your Path to Freedom
- Kimberly Brooks
- Sep 30
- 7 min read
By: Kim Brooks
“Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously.” – Prentis Hemphill
If you’ve been the one holding it all together, at work, at home, for family and friends, your superpower qualities probably look effortless from the outside.
You love deeply, you care deeply, and you give deeply.
You give so much of yourself that your own needs often get pushed to the bottom of the list, sometimes without you even noticing. Constantly putting your needs and desires on the back burner comes at a cost. Underneath the cape, even superheroes get tired, sick, and need to ask for help.
Setting boundaries isn’t selfish. They are an act of clarity.
They’re how we show others what we value most and how we want to be treated.
As Brené Brown reminds us in Dare to Lead,
“Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind.”
When we communicate our needs openly, we’re not being harsh or selfish; we’re being kind, both to ourselves and to the people around us.
Boundaries aren't walls to shut people out; they’re invitations that say, This is how to love and respect me best.
💛 Think of Boundaries as Promises You Keep to Yourself 💛
Boundaries are really about self-trust. Every time you hold a boundary, you remind yourself:
I matter. My needs matter. I am prioritizing myself.
If you’re constantly breaking your own promises, walking all over your own boundaries, or ignoring what you truly need, how will others know how to treat you?
You don’t need to overhaul everything at once.
Start with one small promise and keep it.
Then another. And another.
Over time, those promises create self-trust and a stronger relationship with yourself. Eventually, your boundaries become second nature, part of the fabric of who you are.
What Boundaries Look Like in Real Life
Boundaries don’t have to be big, dramatic declarations.
They’re often small, intentional shifts that protect your energy and keep you aligned with what matters most:
Turning your phone off or using an app to limit social media when you need to focus.
Prepping food ahead of time so you stay nourished throughout your day.
Scheduling your work around your natural rhythm (like no calls before 10 a.m. if mornings are your sacred time).
Taking short, intentional breaks to breathe and reset.
Protecting your evenings and weekends (your personal time) from work
Saying “yes” to what aligns with your values, and gracefully letting go of what doesn’t.
These aren’t rigid rules or “shoulds.” They’re loving commitments, promises you make to yourself that say, my energy, my values, and my well-being matter.
You won’t always get it “right.” If you slip or let someone else cross a line, that doesn’t mean you failed; it means you’re human. With compassion and consistency, your inner trust grows stronger.
It’s much easier to hold firm to your boundaries when you’re resourced- well-rested, nourished, grounded, and clear-headed. When you care for yourself in these ways, your boundaries stop feeling like walls and start feeling like pathways to freedom.
Signs It’s Time to Set a Boundary
As psychiatrist Sue Varma, M.D., PC, DFAPA, reminds us,
"Boundaries are essential to preventing burnout. They protect your time and energy for the things that matter most.” (American Psychiatric Association, 2025).
Some red flags to watch for:
You find yourself saying “yes” when your whole body wants to say “no,” and resentment creeps in afterward.
You’re always “on,” checking emails & notifications or agreeing to things out of guilt instead of genuine desire. (or maybe you really want to, but all your commitments add up.)
Ending most days feeling exhausted and drained, with nothing left for yourself.
Small things trigger frustration or cynicism that never used to bother you.
You have no space for rest, joy, or creativity. You may even pull away from people and activities you once loved.
If any of these sound familiar, take them as tiny warning bells from your body or a gentle nudge from the universe that it’s time to set (or reset) a boundary.
And you don’t have to do it alone. It’s more than okay to ask for support as you learn to protect your time and energy. In fact, having someone hold space for you can make the process feel lighter and more doable.
How to Communicate Your Boundaries (Without Guilt)
Not every boundary needs to be spoken out loud. Sometimes protecting yourself quietly by creating distance, leaving a room, or shifting a conversation is enough. Your boundaries are valid, even unspoken.
When you do share your boundaries, clarity matters.
As therapist and author of Set Boundaries, Find Peace, Nedra Glover Tawwab, reminds us:
“State your needs with clarity, not apology.”
Here’s how that can look:
Use “I” statements: “I need to turn my phone off after 9 p.m. so I can rest.”
Be consistent: “I don’t take work calls on Sundays.”
Start small: Focus on one boundary, one promise at a time.
Boundaries can be hard for others to accept, especially if they’re used to you always saying “yes.” They may feel hurt, confused, or think they did something wrong. But remember: this isn’t about them. You’re not punishing anyone, you’re honoring yourself.
Some may eventually be inspired by your example. Others may resist. That’s okay. You can’t control their reaction. What you can control is how you protect your energy and who you allow close to you.
If you find yourself overcommitting and want tips on how to back out gracefully (and honestly!), check out Marie Forleo's short video, How to Back Out Gracefully.
Think of boundaries as steady promises to yourself that, over time, gradually transform how you show up in life and how you relate to others.
“You can’t set boundaries and take care of everyone else’s feelings at the same time.” – Nedra Glover Tawwab
Boundaries Make Space for What Matters Most
Boundaries aren’t about shutting people out. They’re about creating space- physical, mental, and emotional- for what truly matters: your well-being, your joy, your next chapter.
Imagine the freedom of waking up to a calendar that reflects what lights you up, not just what others expect.
How would it feel to press pause on commitments for a while, and notice what it's like to wake up and choose spontaneously how you'll spend your day, like if it were a snow day, a vacation, or a morning where all your plans got canceled? Suddenly, you have space for creativity, for trying new things, for meeting new people, and for exploring passions you’d been putting off. The lack of structure might be hard to navigate at first, but find the child-like joy in the unknown.
Boundaries give you room to breathe, so the energy you bring to your work, relationships, and life isn’t depleted; it’s vibrant and full of intention.
Brené Brown reminds us,
“Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others.”
Boundaries open space for creativity, new connections, passions you’ve put off, and the deep rest you’ve been craving. They’re not restrictions; they’re pathways to freedom.
One Promise You Can Make Today
Morning phone boundary: No social media until after I’ve had 10 minutes of silence to wake up and center myself.
Work focus boundary: I’ll take one 10-minute break this afternoon with no screens, just my breath, drinking water, and maybe a short walk. I'll set an alarm and block it on my calendar.
Evening rest boundary: My phone goes off at 9 p.m., so I can disconnect from technology and recharge.
Pick one or create your own, and keep it.
Notice how honoring your promise makes you feel. Keep this promise all week and jot down your reflections. If you slip, notice how that feels, too. What thoughts, emotions, and patterns arise? In these moments, can you extend to yourself the same grace, kindness, and acceptance you’d offer someone else?
This is the beginning of a new relationship with yourself. You’re becoming your own best friend, creating your ideal relationship.
The Path to Freedom
Building a healthy, loving relationship with yourself is at the heart of all my services, and it’s the foundation of my coaching program, Path to Freedom.
Together, we create space for you to breathe, rest, and live life on your own terms, finally giving yourself permission to put your needs first. Your loved ones will feel the difference, too.
Because when you honor your boundaries, you honor yourself. And your energy radiates outward, creating a ripple effect in every part of your life.
✨ You don’t have to do it alone. If you’re ready to reclaim your time, energy, and joy, Path to Freedom is here to support you.
In Case You’re New Here:
Hi! I’m Kim, a well-being coach who helps heart-led, high-performing professionals harness rest as their superpower and move through their days with more ease, flow, and joy.
You’ve done the work, mindfulness, movement, self-care, and personal growth, yet stress still creeps in, draining your energy.
That’s where I come in. You don’t need to do more.
This is about remembering who you are at a soul level and stepping fully into your most authentic self.
✨ Not sure where to begin on your personal Path to Freedom?
Let’s connect and explore what kind of support would serve you best right now. You don’t have to figure it out alone. Together, we’ll find the first step that feels clear, doable, and aligned with the life you’re ready to create.
Did this blog post speak to you?
I’d love to hear what resonated most. Share your reflections in the comments or send me a quick email. I read every single one.
📢 Know a heart-led, high-achiever who’s ready to start putting their needs first? Share this blog with them. It might be exactly the nudge they’ve been waiting for.
✨ Join my community of readers to receive well-being tips, soulful inspiration, and updates on upcoming opportunities to support your journey delivered straight to your inbox.
Other Resources You May Love
In this Canvas Rebel article, I share risks I’ve taken, lessons I’ve learned, and advice for anyone ready to take the road less traveled.
🎧 Podcast Features:
Leaving the Classroom: A Teacher Transition Podcast (Ep. 45)- Former Teacher Turned Holistic Wellness Curator (Episode 45)
The Teacher Career Coach Podcast (Ep. 163)- From Teaching to Building a Business (Episode 163)
The Classroom Narratives: Healing in Education Podcast (June 11, 2025)- One Breath at a Time: Reclaiming Energy and Self in the Classroom
📖 More blog posts to inspire your journey:
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